If you don’t want someone to get your goat… Don’t let them know where it’s tied up.
- Jonesy319
- Mar 25
- 2 min read
A curious idiom with obscure etymology, is a phrase I use to illuminate how people can get rattled by something – in this case – something external.
In human terms, making someone nervous, putting them off their game; can detract from their performance as the person deals with the distraction, assuming they are aware that they are, in fact, rattled. Regardless there’s always an emotional response.
When training and coaching people on how their emotions can trip them up without noticing it happening then suddenly – bam – the reaction – I use the imagery of the goat.
People can visualise their executive brain, pre-frontal cortex as the goat, eating away quite happily, until something comes along to disturb that peace – and the goat is swamped by signals from the amygdala – it’s received a message ‘we are under threat!’ and makes the instant decision to flight, fight, or freeze.
To help people begin to explore what gets their goat they need to determine where in their body they feel it first, and what their typical response pattern is.
Imagine you’re in a meeting delivering a presentation, you’ve worked on it for weeks and this is your chance to impress, when someone interrupts you, rudely, and starts talking over you.
Some people have brains like the fainting goats, they freeze. They say nothing, sit down, deflated and the negative emotions wash over them and they obsess about it, maybe for days, weeks, months.
Others have brains that tell them - get the hell out of Dodge and run. They may get up and flee the meeting, negative emotions wash over them and they obsess about it, maybe for days, weeks, months.
And others want to engage and ram the thing that has disrupted them. They may face the antagonist and respond angrily with disparaging remarks giving an emotional display to everyone at the meeting. And they obsess about it, maybe for days, weeks, months.
Notice the theme here?
None of these reactions is helpful – when triggered our emotions can swamp our executive thinking. So how do we manage that?
It starts with – noticing your patterns when something triggers you. Where do you feel it in your body? Most people feel it physically because our hearts start to race, pulse quickens, palms get sweaty, focus narrows. For example, some feel it in their neck or cheeks, others still feel it in their ears, yes, really! And others, like me, feel it like a guttural punch to the stomach.
Now the next part is to make a list and keep a note of what triggers us, noticing, without judgment or trying to intercept – defining the patterns.
When we know the patterns we can start on the next phase – the pattern interrupter.
The one that works for me and many others is this awesome quote from Viktor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response… lies the freedom to choose”
After that comes – how to re-calibrate.
Contact for more info on how to manage your emotions!
email: sharon@beabetteryou.ca
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